Is Watching Porn While In A Relationship Considered Cheating?

Every relationship is different; therefore, their rules will differ from one another. What is considered infidelity in an open relationship may be perceived as something else in a monogamous one. 

Watching porn is normal behavior, but it doesn’t mean that it’s accepted in every social interaction, especially when we’re talking about romantic relationships. The point is that just because something is perceived as normal, it doesn’t mean will be accepted in a relationship.

So, is watching porn while in a relationship considered cheating? The answer is it depends. Some people do see it as cheating and others are completely okay with this behavior. The best you can do is to talk about it with your partner, so you’re both on the same page on this issue.

There’s the argument that watching porn is cheating because you’re desiring other people instead of your partner. The counterpoint to this is that being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you don’t desire other people.

Now, there are people who use the counterargument that watching porn is just a way to express yourself sexually, and it doesn’t mean that you’re actually cheating.

The thing is that no matter what your opinion is, below is more on both viewpoints. Try to keep an open mind so you can better understand both sides.

What Is Cheating

First things first, the best place to get started is to determine what cheating actually is. Cheating is basically breaking a rule of your relationship. Better yet, cheating is lying to your partner, breaking their trust.

Every relationship has its own set of rules, and that’s why the answer to that question will depend on a case by case level. The main point is that cheating is breaking your relationship’s rules.

In this case, if your partner made it clear that watching porn is against the rule, you would be cheating in this case. Again, the first thing that you should do is to establish with your partner what cheating means for you.

Now, in case you catch your partner watching porn and you never discussed it with them, then you should not consider cheating. If the rule wasn’t established first, you can really be complaining about it.

Just make sure that whatever your rules are, you talk about them before you demand anything from the other person.

What Your Rules Are

Still on the topic about your rules, if you voiced to your partner about your feelings on porn, then you have every right to feel cheated. The main reason someone feels cheated when their partner watches porn is that they feel they should only be interested in sex with them.

That’s the main reason a partner may feel cheated when it comes to the habit of watching porn. The best thing that you can do about this is to try and understand their side. Put yourself in their shoes and understand why they feel this way.

Even though you may not consider watching porn cheating, maybe you can understand the feeling that your partner wants to have that you only want them. No one else. Obviously, the best way to resolve this is to talk things through.

You can also try to share the experience with your partner, but there are many people who are just not comfortable with this scenario. You can then decide if you want to give up the habit or change partners.

Think About Your Partner

Especially when you’re in a new relationship, the person wants the illusion that you only think about having sex with them. They want to feel desired and seen. It’s part of our society to condition us to believe that being in love means that you only think about that person in that way.

Even though there are biological and psychological arguments to that, the point is that if you want to have a long-term relationship, you’ll have to do your best to maintain the illusion.

When you watch porn, your partner may feel that you don’t desire them enough. Or even that something is missing in your relationship that makes you want to have this habit. The more important question here is the reasons why you watch and why your partner feels bothered that you do.

This is more important than whether or not it’s cheating. These concerns may reveal deeper parts of both your psyches that are more important than the original question in itself.

It Depends From Person To Person

So, again, watching porn may be considered cheating from one person and not to the other. The point is that it will vary from person to person. If that’s a habit that you value, maybe you should be in a relationship with someone that would enjoy watching it with you.

Being in a monogamous relationship to many people mean that you don’t engage in any sexual behavior without your partner. This may or may not include masturbation and watching porn. They’re not necessarily the same thing but are correlated.

The best you can do, if your partner is against it, it’s to talk about it. Try to explain your reasons and listen to theirs. Be as honest and vulnerable as you know how. It’s important that you voice how you don’t see it as cheating. After all, you’re not sleeping with someone else.

Now, try to understand why they feel like it is cheating. After all, you’re fantasizing about someone else other than them. It could be compared to having sex with your partner while you think about someone else. Definitely not the same thing, but there are similarities.

Why You Do It

If you’re on the side that watching porn isn’t cheating, you may want to think about why you do it in the first place. Think about it. You’re in a romantic relationship where you can have sex any time you want. Why do you feel the need to watch porn?

Your reasons may make you feel like not doing it anymore, or help you show to your partner that it’s okay. If this is a way for you to explore your body and connect with yourself, then maybe they’ll be able to understand.

Now, if it’s just a habit that started during puberty that you can’t get rid of, then maybe you should stop after all. The point is that thinking about why you do it, may be a great starting point.

So, make sure that you reflect on it. Then, talk to your partner about it. The best thing that you both can do is to talk about it and voice how you feel. The worst thing that you can do is to take it personally and overreact.

There Are Two Solutions If Your Partner Doesn’t Like It

If your partner doesn’t want you to watch porn, or you’re the partner who feels this way about it, there are 2 solutions. You can either stop it or break up. This is one of those moments that you have to decide if what you have is that special.

It may sound harsh, but the truth is that this can become a nightmare if you don’t agree on it. One party will always feel cheated and the other will think that someone is overreacting. So, unless a common ground can be established, things will get worse.

This may be a sign of how compatible you are or aren’t. The point is that it’s something that should be discussed and not ignored. Imagine being in a relationship in which you feel cheated all the time, or feeling like you’re not doing anything wrong but is being judged like you are.

The best you can do is to communicate and make sure that you get to an agreement. Then, whatever rules you decide upon, make sure that you follow them.

When Porn Can Be The Sign Of Something Else

Porn isn’t cheating by the definition that you don’t transfer feelings to someone else or practice sexual activity with someone else. Now, it can be cheating by the definition of infidelity. If you’re doing something and lying to your partner about it, you’re cheating.

Perhaps the best that you can do, it’s to analyze if this is the sign of something else. Maybe you don’t desire your partner anymore. Maybe your relationship stagnated and you’re both in the comfort zone. This may be the turning point to do something about it.

Now, maybe you do it because you want novelty and to you, it’s a harmless behavior. Whatever your reason is, make sure that it isn’t the sign of a bigger problem.

Final Thoughts

So, that’s it. Watching porn while in a relationship can be cheating or cannot be it. The point is that it will vary from relationship to relationship. The most important thing is that you and your partner communicate. So, this way no one feels cheated or unfairly judged.

Now, make sure that you establish the rules of your relationship right off the bat. This way you make sure to avoid most of the possible future problems.

Julio
 

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