Best Places to Cheat on Your Spouse (Without Getting Caught)

So you’re planning to cheat, but you’re not sure where to go. Choosing where to have an illicit affair is a big decision. Once you’ve set your mind on it, you’re almost certainly going to succeed. After all, twenty percent of men and fifteen percent of women do. While we aren’t going to tell you it’s a good idea, we can help you make a safe decision, so you do minimal damage to yourself and your spouse.

Get Private, Get Patient

Privacy is the top priority if you don’t want to be seen cheating. There’s no way to be a hundred percent foolproof, but you can take serious steps to minimize your exposure and risk factors. Avoiding partners who are volatile or clingy is a great idea. You need a mature adult with the same goals and needs as you.

It’s worth waiting to find the right partner. If you’ve never dealt with violence or stalking, jumping casually into the arms and bed of whoever comes along is a great way to gain firsthand experience. Instead of jumping the first available partner, try a married dating site like Ashley Madison to find someone you can enjoy your time with drama free. Click Here for the details.

Go Pro

When in doubt, some people choose to go with the professionals. We don’t mean illegal street hookers, that’s just asking for an arrest record. However, there are places in the world, even in the US, where it’s not going to get you arrested if you work with a professional to have your needs met.

There are definite benefits to hiring out. First, it’s a business transaction. A professional will not call your house looking for you, or wonder where you are when you aren’t with them. They don’t even want to know why you’re there, and discretion is their job.

As long as you bathe, don’t injure them, use your manners, and pay, then you’ll be a favorite client. You can even have a regular arrangement with a pro, a little like having a girlfriend, but less likely to interfere with your personal life back home. Good legal call girls or prostitutes know their business, and they’re cautious and clean.

Location

Deciding where to conduct your affair should not be a spur of the moment, thoughtless action. Your location can mean the difference between a roach motel owner ratting you out the second your wife shows up and five-star discretion. Obviously, your budget will have an effect on the decision, but you have lots of options. You might say the world is your oyster.

Virtual

If you can’t keep it in your pants, some find it easiest to keep things online. Avoiding disease and staying out of the public eye is simple with this option. There are lots of places you can find willing partners online. From chat roulette to dating sites, online-only like Ashley Madison is an excellent solution.

There are plenty of places where other married-but-seeking daters can hook up without the commute or risk associated with real-world liaisons. Not to mention you’ll save a fair amount of time and money if you don’t mind closing the deal on your own in front of a webcam.

Sure, it’s not the most romantic, but it is physically the safest choice you could make. As an adult, you know better than to give out your real information to a stranger online. With no STDs, STIs, or Pregnancy risk, it’s worth it. You’re guaranteed never to have an unexpected homewrecker show up at your job or house. Plus, you won’t need to worry about someone else’s angry spouse deciding to go after you.

Local

Even if you live in a large city, choosing a local place to get your horizontal mambo lessons is going to be risky. Absolutely under no circumstances should you take your cheat-partner into your home. It’s probably best to avoid their place as well.

Instead, pick a local hotel that isn’t near anyone or anything you, your spouse, your family, coworkers, or friends would have a reason to visit. Look for something with off-street parking, preferably inside a garage, or don’t take your own car.

National

If you’re looking to strike out on your own, or you just travel a lot for work, then you’re a whole lot less likely to get spotted randomly. You’ll want to avoid places where you know a lot of people. Moreover, you still don’t want to be seen out in public with your date too much. Sports are televised nationally, and those cameras scan the crowd regularly, so whatever you do, don’t go catch a game together.

It may surprise you to learn that your chances of catching an STD are less depending on what area your long-distance lover lives in. The national STD stats can help you avoid bringing any unwanted souvenirs home.

Anywhere But Here

The following states have almost a thousand infected people per hundred thousand in the population or more. A one in a hundred chance might not seem like a big deal, but you’ll change your tune when you’re the one. Cheating in high-risk areas is foolish and unnecessary.

Infected With at Least One Known STD Per 100,000
  • Alaska (1394.01 )
  • Louisiana (1261.89)
  • Mississippi (1283.61)
  • South Carolina (1100.19)
  • North Carolina (1037.17)
  • Alabama (1065.1)
  • Georgia (1069.2)
  • Arkansas ( 1003.45)
  • New York (933.96)
  • Maryland (910.9)
  • Deleware (912.67)
  • Ohio (905.73)
  • Illinois (966.11)
  • Missouri (932.31)
  • Oklahoma (997.21)
  • Texas (907.64)
  • New Mexico (1084.56)
  • Arizona (936.62)
  • California (939.84)

Better Odds

For those who want to take a lot less risk, there are the top five places you could date. These all have extremely low STD rates per capita. Even with a lower risk rate and a condom, STDs can still pass from one person to another through sexual contact. Oral sex, tiny cuts, spilled fluids, and more all contribute to the danger.

Infected With at Least One Known STD Per 100,000
  • West Virginia (365.11)
  • Vermont (393.73)
  • New Hampshire (438.19)
  • Maine (464.42)
  • Idaho (537.33)

Global

Should you be so fortunate, international travel is a fantastic way to meet new and exciting people, and yes, bed them. While world statistics are reported in different ways, there is some consensus where HIV and AIDS are concerned. At least among younger men, the three countries with the least HIV-AIDS are Afghanistan, Malaysia, and Mexico. It stands to reason that with less young men spreading it around, there are probably less young women exposed as well.

Follow the Rules

Don’t risk publicly humiliating yourself or someone you love. We’re not going to judge your motivations. Maybe your partner is into organized crime and just awful in bed, and this is the only way you’ll ever have joy in life without getting murdered gruesomely. Keeping it under wraps is the first rule of successful cheating.

The Rules

  • Use protection. No one want’s an STD, STI, or unexpected pregnancy to wreck their lives. Always, no matter who you cheat with or how safe you think you are, use protection.
  • Don’t talk about it anywhere but with your cheat-partner. Make sure you’re both on the same page about what your relationship is and how to manage it.
  • Use a site like Ashley Madison to find amiable adults in the same situation.
  • Don’t go out in public together. In the modern world, there are cameras everywhere. It’s not hard to get spotted on film. Wherever there’s a video of you doing something wrong, someone will see it.
  • If you are in public avoid all PDA. If you absolutely have to meet somewhere public for any reason, do not hold hands, kiss or otherwise indicate with your bodies that anything is going on.
  • When you buy anything like condoms or cologne just for the other person, don’t store it anywhere your spouse could find it. If they do, it’s for them, or you forgot all about that and bought it ages ago.
  • Dispose of the evidence immediately. Used condoms, sexy pictures, whatever it is, get rid of it before you go home, and not in the dumpster behind your house.
  • Have a solid alibi. If you have a friend who already knows, talk to them about covering for you. Otherwise, find a reason to be away that looks legit. Better still, only cheat when you’re legitimately away from home on business.
  • Paper trails are bad news. Always pay cash, and this goes double for shared accounts. Many cheaters are caught because they forget about taking an essential precaution like not spending money their spouse can track easily.
  • Use a burner phone. Buy cheap disposable prepaid phones for your rendezvous and get rid of them when you’re done. If you keep them more than a day always turn them completely off and store them without a battery inside. That way no one can just turn it on, and it looks like an old phone you forgot about. A ringing phone in your trunk will cause curiosity, even if it’s just a telemarketer.

Final Thoughts

Whatever your reason for cheating, the best place to go is somewhere safe. Keep your risks and your head low. Try to avoid dumb beginners mistakes that will get you caught and devastate your marriage. Also, remember the location matters. If you stick to these basic guidelines you’ll at least be able to say you’re a smart and savvy cheater, just don’t say it out loud.

Koryl
 

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