They can end a relationship, or just embarrass you, but sperm stains are no joke. Maybe you tried scrubbing, and it didn’t work. Some stains are more stubborn than others. What’s a guy to do? When you find yourself asking if you need new sheets ASAP stop and take a deep breath. We’ve got your back with answers to all your sperm stain problems.
How long do sperm stains last? We have bad news; come stains like to stick around for months or years. It gets worse because while sperm can stay in clothing that has been washed for months or longer, it can also contaminate other things in your laundry.
How Much Sperm
Institute of Environmental Science and Research (ESR) scientist Susan Vintiner is an expert in DNA profiles. She was consulted about sperm remaining on clothing and bedding during a court case in England and revealed the shocking statistics in court. Experts like her say that a minimum of 46% of sperm remains on clothing after it’s washed.
Additionally, an average sexual load releases over two-hundred and fifty million sperm. That’s a whole lot of stain. Low sperm counts might impact this, but facts about how much sexual fluid remains weren’t available. The fluid sperm live and travel inside makes up the majority of any stain, and it also carries DNA.
Unfortunately, when you launder sperm stained items with other fabrics, some of the sperm and come fluid transfers to those items. This means you can find sperm stains on things you never got body fluid on.
Sometimes just leaving damp items in contact with other materials is enough to make a stain. Moreover, not all stains are instantly visible.
The good news is that you can spot stains easily, so you never leave an embarrassing mess. All you need to light up a sperm stain is a simple blacklight. You don’t need to install special bulbs to check for stains. Inexpensive portable models are easy to come by Click Here to get the latest pricing.
A handheld blacklight will help you search out any messes quickly. You can store them inconspicuously since they look like flashlights. Also, if anyone should ask about it, you can always say they’re useful for spotting scorpions and checking out hotel rooms to make sure they’re clean.
A forensic scientist in a forensic lab can help determine the presence of sperm. If you are reading this in hopes of proving infidelity or some other crime, you’re in luck. Forensics experts can put any stained item through a series of tests. Ultimately they can even go to court with their findings and help provide you with an expert witness.
If you think your partner has been cheating, a forensics expert can test for sperm and even identify the DNA of whoever it belongs to. Most likely they can’t tell you who it belongs to without a DNA sample from that person to corroborate, but they can tell you if the stains are yours or your partners reasonably quickly.
If you need to show, for example, that your wife has been sleeping around, it’s easy enough to volunteer your own DNA to prove that what you found is not your own. No one wants to find sperm stains from a stranger. At least you can prove it if you do happen to be the victim of a cheater. That’s the sort of evidence that will look good in front of a judge. Using a blacklight sure comes in handy!
Disposing of the Evidence
The surest way to get rid of a sperm stain is to remove and destroy the item where you found it. Burning your bed might not be the most innocent looking solution, or the most cost-effective. However, a fire will undoubtedly do the trick.
Assuming you can’t merely burn your mess, there are some other ways to remove the stains. These may not be as effective at hiding DNA evidence as fire, but they all work to limited extents.
Cold Water & Borax
Borax, or boric acid, is used in cleaning clothing. You can pick it up in the laundry aisle of most grocery stores. Make a paste from the powder and some water, then rub it into the stain. Borax will remove most visible messes and may help remove DNA traces as well.
Avoid using hot water. The heat will cause coagulation and set the stain into the fabric. This is a good tip for all stains, not just sperm.
If the item is white, or you don’t care what it looks like as long as the stain is gone, then you can soak it in a mixture of bleach and water. This will make your whites look clean again. Moreover, it will also help destroy the proteins in the sperm and assist in eliminating any DNA evidence.
White vinegar is extremely acidic. The acid in the vinegar will help kill sperm and get rid of that stain. Just remember to avoid apple cider vinegar, the color may cause other stains.
Removing all traces, if you can, will leave evidence of cleaning as well. If you’re trying to prove something serious like rape or infidelity, having your investigators look for evidence of someone working this hard to eradicate evidence might be useful. You can verify what happened in some other way.
If you’re trying to remove visible evidence so that your houseguests don’t get grossed out, then these tips should help you keep them in the dark.
Sperm Is Strange Stuff
Hopefully, you’ll be able to spot and remove all your sperm stains. If not, then maybe you can use some of our strange sperm facts to help distract anyone who notices them. Humor and intrigue is a great way to diffuse a tense situation. Obviously, you should also offer to clean up the mess, but you
- Contrary to Popular Belief- Many of us have heard the rumor that sperm can stay alive for almost a week (5 days). However, most sperm, especially those inside a female body, die fairly quickly. It’s technically possible for sperm in precisely the right circumstances to make if five days, most won’t make it.
- Sperm is Not- The fluid men come contains sperm, but it’s not primarily made up of little swimmers. The majority of the fluid is just that, a fluid designed to house sperm and help them get from point A to point B.
- We’ve Known For a Long Time- The first sperm was discovered under a microscope in 1677. Antonie van Leeuwenhoek put a sample in his microscope after having sex with his wife.
- It’s Good For You- Sperm has some unexpected health benefits. It can help women with depression and ovulation. Plus it’s surprisingly good for your skin. There’s even a company that makes a very pricey skin cream from lab simulated sexual load.
A little understanding can go a long way toward diffusing a tense situation. Furthermore, you can always point out how easy it is to contaminate the wash with a little bit of come.
A Word to the Wise
Cheating is never the right choice, but there are other ways to deposit sperm stains. If you’re sexually active, and not a lesbian, then there are probably sperm stains in your home. Furthermore, it’s important to know that sperm isn’t the only thing that will show up under a blacklight. Every body fluid except blood fluoresces. Animals, sweat, and even fabric softener can also show up.
Before you jump to conclusions about a stain, you will need to be certain. It takes an expert eye and a lab test to prove that stain is what you think it could be. Before you accuse anyone of wrongdoing, you should do your best to verify your suspicions in some other way. Try hiding a nanny cam in your house instead and catch your cheater in the act.
If the stains you’re worried about are your own, then the chances are, a savvy partner will catch you. You can only do so much to make it go away, and cleaning up too obviously shows that there was a mess to be concerned about in the first place.
Sperm stains are a sign of a male in the house. If you have a teenage son, keep in mind those messes might not belong to your husband or boyfriend at all. Even if you think he’s not, it’s normal for teenagers to self stimulate. Uncomfortably, they may also do so in unexpected places like your bed. Sure, it’s gross, but hormones do weird things to people during puberty.
On the flip side, a sperm stain, even one you can’t see with the naked eye, might help you out someday. You may want to win everything in court in your divorce case. You’re more likely to keep the house if the other party did you wrong. Proving a stranger made a stain is one way to show you’re not the one who broke faith in the relationship.
With luck, the only sperm stains you’ll ever have to ‘mess with,’ belong to you or your spouse. At least you can remove the visible evidence with a little effort.