New man, new mission, new way of life? He’s quieter than you expected, even after you’ve warmed up to each other — is he hiding something? — You don’t know. Does being the quiet one out really make you dangerous? Or is it one of the many drawbacks of not being an extrovert? Why is he so quiet?
Quiet guys are the most dangerous is a term many have heard before, the man in the back who speaks less often than he is heard. What makes being quiet so dangerous and intimidating to people comes with the oft fact that someone who is quiet prefers silence. Whether that be to let their thoughts gestate or it being a more comfortable environment for them.
There is an extreme amount of negativity placed on being quiet, never speaking up, and any other anti-social dilemma where extroversion is not the normal. Do not approach this at face value, someone being quiet is no different from an extrovert from constantly talking. Flip the situation around for a second.
If someone came up to you and said it’s weird how much someone talks, you’d think about it. Same goes for if someone brought up how little someone else talks; it’s all about perspective. If you already are looking for reasons to write someone off or deem them ‘unsafe’, then someone being quiet can definitely factor into your contempt for them.
Quiet people are generally not the most dangerous, it’s just an uncomfortable fact that when someone is quiet, there is less to know about them. The less someone says the more things are up in the air of how they fell on certain topics. Talking to someone who is quiet when it is not a staple of your life can lead to introspection some people are not ready for.
When speaking to someone quiet, you have to look for other signs of their engagement in a conversation. Body language is also key. Paying attention to how someone reacts and what they say to your words will tell you more about their engagement than their personality. Quiet people just have a different way of expressing themselves.
Quiet people (guys in particular) are observant, a whole conversation can happen right in front of them, them not saying a single word, yet remember the core parts of it. Now, being observant doesn’t make someone dangerous, only perceptive.
A quiet person does not mean they are quiet all of the time, some introverts need time to warm up to others and really get a feel not only for the conversation, but the person they are also having it with. Like that awkward stage in a date where silence seems to be filling the void more than words, you have to give a quiet person time for them to come into their own.
Expelling that myth that someone quiet is dangerous is hard to do. It’s breaking apart that societal chain that tells you someone working at a supermarket in their thirties has failed at life or is at an impasse. You don’t know their story till you speak to them. You’ll never hear what a quiet person has to say if you sit and stare at them without asking questions.
If someone ends up being dangerous, then being an extrovert or an introvert are complete non-sequiturs. Do not allow something as trivial as societal dictation to dictate how you view someone before you even speak to them.
If you find yourself at an impasse when speaking to a quiet person, their body language faltering, as well as the conversation reaching a guaranteed endpoint all too early on, it’s not because the person is quiet, you may just not have meshable personalities, and that’s okay.
Being quiet doesn’t make someone dangerous, but questioning why someone is quiet can come off as you being dangerous to their comfort levels. Ask questions, approach someone. Just because someone is constantly talking doesn’t mean they have nothing to say.