Emotional maturity is a term that gets used very often because it directly affects how people interact with each other. Due to the differences in gender roles and societal upbringing, men and women tend to get mature at a different pace.
What age does a woman get emotionally mature? On average, women become fully emotionally mature by the age of 32, even though they tend to handle relationships properly when they are over the age of 20. The age of maturity varies between individuals and depends on personal experience.
Researchers with the Department of Human Development and Family Studies in India analyzed male and female adolescents to evaluate the average age of emotional maturity. The results of their study showed that males tend to reach emotional maturity earlier than females.
What Does It Mean to Be Fully Emotionally Mature?
A person is emotionally mature if they can control and express their emotions appropriately. Emotional maturity describes the ability to manage our feelings in the face of strain and communicate our emotions despite ourselves.
Emotional maturity is not inherent – people attain emotional maturity through active practice and careful introspection. As with most concepts, the childhood stage is the most influential part of emotional maturation.
Children exposed to emotionally immature parents are likely to show poor conflict management skills and, sometimes, low self-esteem. However, you can attain emotional maturity in adulthood through a psychotherapy method called, “Reparenting”. Here, you consciously employ techniques designed to help foster awareness of your emotions and needs.
However, Reparenting isn’t a quick fix; this process typically takes months and years.
Emotional maturity is not only crucial in your interpersonal relationship, but it is also required in the work environment. Emotional maturity enables us to navigate our way through difficult social situations and challenging leadership roles.
Emotionally mature people might not have the right answer in every social situation, but they are seen to take responsibility for the occasional insensitive remark or hurtful gibe.
Conversely, emotional immaturity sabotages relationships and can affect the quality of partnerships in the workplace. Emotional immaturity doesn’t always come in the form of violent tantrums and open sulks. Emotional immaturity can be subtle and, sometimes, easy to miss.
The best way to understand emotional maturity is to analyze some distinct characteristics of emotional immaturity. If a person does not exhibit any of the behaviors listed below, then they are emotionally mature.
- Avoidance:
Emotionally immature people are usually found to be avoidant. They typically show a blatant disregard for the concept of time and money. Also, emotionally immature people might shirk responsibilities, refusing emotional commitment.
Emotionally immature people are typically dependent on others and are usually too volatile to maintain long-term relationships.
- Impulsiveness:
Although everyday people might have the occasional impulse streak, immature people never quite end theirs. Emotionally immature people are known to make life-altering decisions often on a whim.
- Seeking Attention:
Emotional immaturity isn’t characterized by impulsivity and avoidance alone. Emotionally immature people can also be attention-seeking. Much like young children, emotionally immature adults often feel anxious or become visibly uncomfortable when attention is diverted away from them.
To get attention, emotionally immature people might attempt some dangerous actions and might also employ extreme measures to regain attention.
- Narcissism:
The average person might show a certain degree of vanity and self-importance, but these character traits are often exaggerated in emotionally immature people. Narcissists are known to rank exceptionally low on the empathy scale.
Narcissists also display a blatant disregard for the feelings of others and often show a general unwillingness to compromise. A lack of empathy typically suggests emotional immaturity.
What Are Signs Of Having An Emotionally Immature Girlfriend?
| Early signs: | Easily taking in many sexual or other temptations, lying, and trust issues in commitment. Many statistically have this with their partners usually regardless of sex, but this can be helped and fixed in time. |
| Mid-Late signs. | Avoiding intimacy, history of unstable relationships, Overall consistent toxicity along with unhealthy clinginess. |
| Obvious all around signs | Avoiding you, taking time to spend it with others, and leaving during intimate moments/dates. Lack of commitment to the smallest of things, and history of cheating/insecurity when you are with others of the same sex as them. |
The Importance of Emotional Maturity in Women
Emotional maturity is important in a woman because it is required to build strong interpersonal relationships and man-management skills. Emotional maturity is an essential factor in the development of a mature personality.
When a woman is emotionally mature, she will be a step above many other people in terms of self-control. Emotionally mature people can assess demanding situations and make decisions that might be difficult for the average person.
It is easier for an emotionally mature woman to form bonds and friendships with other people and be able to cope with the unpleasant demands that life brings regularly. These features that come with emotional maturity are important not just for women, but for every individual.
How Does a Woman Know She Is Emotionally Mature?
A woman can know she is emotionally mature when she displays a high amount of social flexibility and the willingness to take responsibility for herself and others.
It is often easy to spot if a woman is emotionally mature because of some telltale signs that come with such a personality. Below, some of these traits are explained.
- Flexibility:
Without being a pushover, some women know how to compromise in their interpersonal relationships and work environments. This level of flexibility might suggest emotional maturity.
- Taking Responsibility:
Shirking social responsibilities can be appealing, and emotional commitments even more so. Emotionally mature women recognize their emotional responsibilities and accept the consequences of their actions. Emotionally responsible women do not shy away from acknowledging their emotions and owning their mistakes.
- Vulnerability:
Classic models of emotional immaturity dismiss emotional vulnerability as unnecessary. However, emotional maturity recognizes the importance of exposure both in the context of romance or otherwise.
What Are the Causes of Lack of Emotional Stability?
Although genetics and lingering trauma are identified as the primary causes of emotional instability, attachment styles and learning disorders can also cause a lack of emotional stability.
As observed during depression and anxiety, chemical imbalances in the brain can cause emotional instability in people. However, emotional instability doesn’t occur due to genetics and environmental factors alone.
A notable decrease in serotonin levels might account for unusual bouts of irritability, and fluctuations in dopamine production are often responsible for mood swings. Hormonal dysregulation is typically challenging to track and, in women, even harder.
With their brain chemistry changing at various points in their menstrual cycle, female hormones often are jumbled. Hormonal dysregulations such as drops in estrogens and progesterone can leave women feeling irritable and anxious, upsetting their emotional balance altogether.
Premenstrual syndrome, a common mood disruptor in women, is experienced by 48 percent of women in the US. In contrast, its severe extension, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), is known to afflict some 3-8 percent.
Although PMS and PMDD might be difficult to manage, mental health conditions are known to make it noticeable harder.
While emotional instability in young adolescents is often attributed to their biology and teenage angst, intense mood swings can be caused by other negative factors. Teenagers suffering from rapid mood swings may be depressed or have social phobias. Teenagers struggling with anxiety disorder are also known to show active signs of emotional turbulence.
Addiction is another cause, and it doesn’t just affect the quality of your life and physical well-being. Addiction is known to throw sufferers into mercurial moods and erratic behavior patterns.
Alcohol misuse is often accompanied by emotional turbulence and volatile behavior, where one study showed many alcoholics to have low emotional stability, and the minority displayed only moderate emotional stability. Stimulant abuse is also known to increase emotional instability in addicts.
Emotional instability is strongly associated with “cluster B” personality disorders. These personality disorders are characterized by emotional volatility and instability in relationships.
Without proper treatment, emotional instability can grow into Bipolar Personality disorder. Bipolar Personality Disorder is typified by abrupt changes in moods, oscillating self-image, an unhealthy idealization, and the devaluation of friends and loved ones.
How Can a Woman Improve Her Emotional Stability?
A woman can improve her emotional stability by visiting a therapist and engaging in regular exercise. Sticking to a healthy diet and getting proper meditation can also help emotional control.
Emotional stability can improve the quality of our lives and our daily interactions with others. Detailed below are a few ways to improve yours.
- Therapy:
Checking in with a therapist might cost a few hundred dollars for a session, but therapy is a sure way to control emotional instability. Therapists are usually equipped with emotion regulation strategies and turbulence management techniques.
Women diagnosed with clinical depression or anxiety disorder are especially encouraged to find a therapist.
- Medication:
While most episodes of PMS can be managed without drugs, severe cases often call for a prescription. Women suffering from extreme PMDD often get on Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) to ease emotional instability and anxiolytics to relieve anxiety.
SSRIs are also used as an oral treatment to help combat depressive disorders. Before getting any over-the-counter drug, we recommend consulting with your doctor.
- Exercise:
Exercise doesn’t just burn fat and build muscles. Exercise is also a sure way to improve your emotional stability. Regular exercise has been observed to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety disorder.
If you are new to exercising, it is best to check with your doctor before deciding what regimen works for you. Here are a few tips to help improve your workout session.
Also, do not get overwhelmed. As a newcomer to exercising, you might be discouraged by how much you need to do. We recommend that you start small – short laps and bodyweight exercise. If in doubt, you could also invest in a personal trainer to ease the strain of learning on your own.
You can also attempt a stress-relieving workout. Although strength training and cardio have their allure, yoga, and tai chi are great ways to relieve stress and improve your emotional stability.
- Attempt CBT:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be helpful for people with depression and anxiety disorder. CBT involves several techniques that address thoughts, behavior, and emotions.
More than highlighting negative thought patterns and emotions, CBT techniques are focused on implementing methods to combat these thought patterns and negative emotions.
Here, we highlight several techniques to help improve your emotional balance.
- Exposure therapy:
Social anxiety has a direct relationship with emotional instability. With exposure therapy, therapists are required to expose people to factors that affect their anxiety or phobia.
- Journaling:
Although journaling might be a brilliant way to improve your writing and communication, it also presents people with the opportunity to self-reflect and analyze their thoughts. Amazon offers a journal with calming prompts that might help those looking for a more affirming journaling experience. From the company Four Progress, a discreet all-black cover journal can make sure your personal progress stays private. Click here to learn more!
- Relaxation:
This CBT method adopts deep breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, and imagery to help people lower stress and emotional instability. Other people have found creative outlets to be the best way to destress. One tool that those practicing healthy relaxing habits is the traditional miniature Japanese zen garden. Amazon offers a selection from ENSO, a traditional Japanese zen garden kit maker that allows for creativity that fits right on your desk. Click here for more information on its listing.
For those looking for a video reference that provides an insightful perspective for emotional maturity, follow this deconstruction below.
How Do You Test for Emotional Maturity?
In psychological evaluation, you can test for emotional maturity using the Emotional Maturity Scale (EMS). The scale measures important traits that can be used to judge whether a person is emotionally mature.
Developed by Singh and Bhargava in the late 80’s, the Emotional Maturity Scale (EMS) provides a recognized standard to measure emotional maturity. The EMS meters five factors before determining the Emotional Maturity value.
The five major aspects of the EMS are Emotional Stability, Emotional Progression, Social Adjustment, Personality Integration, and Independence.
This five-point scale presents each question on the questionnaire with five options which are Always, Mostly, Uncertain, Usually, and Never. The options are labeled 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1, respectively.
Although it might not be immediately apparent, emotional maturity and emotional intelligence are interconnected.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and understand the emotions of yourself and others. Emotional maturity references the application of emotional intelligence in real-life situations when relating with yourself and other people.
Below are some character traits that can be related to both emotional maturity and intelligence and should always be looked out for in people.
- Self-awareness:
Self-awareness defines being sentient and able to interpret one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. Conscious of their strength and weakness, self-aware people often make the best leaders.
- Empathy:
Although empathy refers to the ability to share the feelings and emotions of others, in practice, we find this to be impossible. Those with an elevated level of empathy possess the ability to understand the feelings of others.
While people with elevated levels of empathy might struggle with drawing boundaries, they usually have stable relationships and social connections. Prominent levels of empathy usually suggest compassion and emotional maturity.
- Internal motivation:
This concept describes a behavior where actions are inspired by a sense of internal rather than external gratification. With internal motivation, people find a keen sense of purpose and openness, and this is required for emotional maturity.
- Self-Regulation:
Self-regulation describes our ability to manage our feelings as well as our behavior.
- Social Skills:
Social skills help to build strong and meaningful relationships by fostering bonds with ease.